Enter Sandman

Posted: 29. dets. 2010 in Life
Sildid:, , ,

I’ve written once before about occasionally having weird dreams but lately they’ve gotten worse. I can’t sleep because all the time I’m having crazy and totally f-u-c-k-e-d up dreams. I’ve tried various ways to improve my sleep quality but nothing seems to work. I’ve drank herbal tea, I’ve listened to relaxing music, I’ve done relaxing breathing exercises. I even tried an Indian dreamcatcher – nothing.

One time I dreamed about being in my late grandmother’s summer house and suddenly there was military invasion by Russia. We all tried to grab our things and just run away but it was already too late. Luckily some of my family members got away but I was left behind. Then all of a sudden there was this high ranking military officer who tried to shoot me but for some reason decided not to shoot. I got away back to the summer house and again tried to gather my clothes (for some weird reason I didn’t actually take my clothes, I took the clothes of my late grandmother). Then the Russian soldiers were there again and I had to “surrender” to them. I saw the officer who had left me alive and thanked him in Russian. Then I just woke up.

Another time I dreamed like I was in the German army during World War II (Nazi Army). I saw how they chased people who were innocent and I was sickened by it. I decided to desert the army and just run for my life and finally got away. Then after a couple of nights I dreamed again about the Nazi Army – but this time I was being chased down by the Nazis and I had my children with me and we had to hide in the ruins of an old castle. At one point they caught us and took away my children and then they pointed a gun to my head to shoot me – then I woke up hyperventilating and feeling just sick. Another time I woke up hyperventilating was when I dreamed about solving a case of unidentified woman, finding out it was someone I knew I got mad, took a knife and just started stabbing him. It’s crazy because in real life I’m a very calm and non-violent person who tends to avoid conflict (both emotional and physical) at any cost.

Couple of weeks ago I saw I was on tour with Rammstein. I was like their manager or something and there were some problems and I was really nervous if their concert turned out good or not. Then I woke up and fell asleep again only to dream that I was like an Internet celebrity hanging out with all the cool people and I met up with Ian and Anthony of Smosh and we agreed to start working together – that’s just plain weird.

I have  dreamed about being an actress, school teacher and rock star, I’ve dreamed about crying because someone important to me has died, I dream a lot about my late grandmother, the childhood summer house. There is also a “mystery man” who keeps appearing in my dreams whom I’ve don’t know at all.  Sometimes the dreams are pleasant also but not so often. But what bothers me the most is that the dreams are so vivid, like they had really happened to me. Usually when you dream, you wake up and think it was just a dream and everything is ok. But to me the emotions from the dreams are so strong that I just feel weird the whole day.

It’s almost as in “Enter Sandman” lyrics: “Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight and they aren’t of snow white. Dreams of war, dreams of lies, dreams of dragon fire and of things that will bite”

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