Estonia‘s Independence Day was on February 24 and usually on that day our president holds official celebration concert and after that an official reception for well-known and respected politicians and celebrities. And usually before the celebration concert our president presents his most important speech throughout the year. This year I think the president had an average speech – he spoke a lot about stuff he has spoken about previously also but one aspect stood out to me. He said that Estonia has come a long way – we are member states of EU and NATO and we finally have Euro as our currency. Now the focus should be more on people. He emphasized that we are no longer a slave nation that has to constantly think what other countries and other nations think about us. Now it’s time to think on ourselves, to be ourselves. I couldn’t agree more with his thought.

Why is it so important what others think about us? Do we define ourselves through others? Why do we constantly need others approval?

When I was a child I didn’t care what other people thought of the things I did. I only cared what my parents would say about that. Then in my teenager years all things changed. I have to admit that I wasn’t popular among my class mates at all and some of the meanest things were said to me during my basic school time. And it was at that time I started to care about what others might think of me. Even during high school I never said what I really thought of things because I didn’t know what others might say about it. I tried to fit in with others to get their approval. And it’s only now I see how wrong was that. And how stupid I was holding back my inner self. my high school years were pretty much ok and I got along with everyone. But as I said – I was afraid to speak up, to firmly stand behind my opinions and to do what I really wanted. I was afraid what others might think. I remember that there was one guy from our class that always used to comment on the shirts I was wearing (usually they had some text on it, generic text they put on to the shirts). Every time he would say to me something about it and to this day I can’t figure out if he was just joking or really mocking me. I usually just smiled and didn’t say anything to him. What I should HAVE DONE: I should have said to him something in line of “fuck you, if you don’t like don’t look”. But I never did that.

During the university time my self confidence started to grow and I wasn’t so held back anymore. Today I can say that I don’t care anymore what others think. It’s important how I think, feel and what I want. If I feel good doing certain things or wearing certain clothes then I’ll continue to do that. And if anyone has a problem with it – it’s their problem, not mine. Of course there are certain things/topics I’m still not so confident about and when given negative feedback on them I do care and I do feel hurt. But overall I can say that “what others think of me” is not my main problem anymore. When I finally reached that point when I could say screw the others, I felt liberated and free. Constantly living by the rule of “what others think of you” makes you feel like a chained slave. And I don’t want to be a slave, I want to be FREE.

I think that one of the best examples of not caring what others say about you is British king Edward VIII who abdicated the throne to marry a divorced American woman Wallis Simpson. He loved her and didn’t care even if he had to leave his position as a king to be with her. Another good example is Lady Gaga. I am not a fan of her music but I do think it’s kind of cool how she always wears these crazy costumes and doesn’t care what anybody says about them. And also British actor Helena Bonham Carter – she has her own style and didn’t wear a typical red carpet dress even at the Oscars. That’s something I admire – the courage to stand out.

I think more people here in Estonia should focus on ridding themselves of the constant need to get others approval. It doesn’t matter what your neighbor thinks about you/your family, it doesn’t matter if a gossip magazine says that your clothing style is not “in” at the moment, it doesn’t matter if you are doing a job you like but others disapprove of, it just does NOT matter. The only thing that matters is if you yourself are happy and content and want things to be the way they are. Then and ONLY then you can be happy.

  1. I agree! Be yourself, have the courage to stand out, be free and be happy.
    I saw some of your Metal videos on YouTube and I think you’re doing a great job with the news vlogs. I’m into all kinds of music but metal has always been one of my favorite genres. First concert I ever went to was Black Sabbath!
    Nice blog, all the best to you, and keep on rockin’!!! \m/

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